I’ve wanted to talk about this topic for a long time, it’s something that since I’ve gotten older (Yes I know I’m not old but I still have feelings ok Susan?!), has become more prominent to me and it becomes a problem when thinking about the future. In fact, as a natural born worrier, I do stress about the future, my goals, what my life will be like and why don’t I have a plan?…these are things I think about daily all because of this invisible timeline I put myself on. Does anyone else do this?
For a long time I’ve put this pressure on myself, forgetting I’m only twenty one and that things will eventually fall into place. We all have different timelines and its the comparison to one another that simply ruins your own thoughts about your own. This is a big thing for me, I will see someone thriving, people buying houses, creating families and travelling and fill myself with worry thinking should I be at that stage now? Do I need to save for a house? Should I think about travelling? But, I realise that the answer is no. I do not need to do any of those things in order to be happy or have a good life, I have to do what I want.
A huge factor of me putting the timeline on myself is of course seeing other people thrive but I’ve also known people who have passed away young. I couldn’t help but think that could be me or a family member, you really don’t know what is around the corner. I feel as though I have to do things straight away, even if it’s silly little things like acting on impulse. “Buy the shoes Abbie…you might not be around to enjoy them next week. Who knows? You don’t know.” Now that was a silly example for sure, and material things shouldn’t matter but the moral is, I am taking every opportunity whilst I can.
The timeline is actually non existent and more a frame of mind, it’s the pressure we all put on ourselves. I always feel rushed to do things, especially dating! I think “Oh god, that girl I know is buying a house with her fella, and they’re gonna have a family” so I literally feel as though I have to find someone quickly forgetting I have so much more time to do that. Those things cannot be rushed, especially if you’re looking for love.
Recently, I’ve seen an image doing the rounds on facebook and it really resignated with me and spurred me on to finish this long awaited post. (I started writing this in August Oops, writers block.)
I loved this message and it explained to me that I don’t have to constantly compare myself to others, I know it will be hard but I know I’m doing whats right for me. For example; I take self care and my mental health really seriously because it’s something I struggle with as you readers will know (Read an open letter to myself). So, when I do take time for myself and simply do ‘nothing’ all day but relax and maybe throw on a face mask I feel as though I am being lazy. I’m not, I’m doing whats best for me and it’s about time I started thinking this way all of the time.
I know that I’m not alone with this bull shit time line, I’ve spoken to people about it and ultimately, it gets people down and affects their self worth. They’re beginning to question have I done enough? We all need to stop the self doubt. Making your own decisions shows a strong person and it will lead you onto a life you’re happy with. Not all decisions will be correct but they sure will be learning curves.
The purpose of this post was to change the way I think and hopefully it can get you guys thinking about your life and whether or not you adhere to this ridiculous, pressured time line like I do. Here are some things to take from it;
- Live each day as if it’s your last, but also plan a future if that suits you.
- Don’t be fearful of judgement. Your descisions, your life.
- Fuck the time line and society pressures. You do you.
- Don’t compare yourself to others. You are on your own path to happiness.
- Jealousy is an illness, get well soon hun
Thanks to every single one of you who read my posts. They may seem unimportant to you or you may not relate but luckily there are people out there it will resonate with. It takes just that one person to see it, who needs it the most. I love that and I’m loving this new way to get my feelings out. Stay tuned for more, I promise they won’t all be deep and miserable.
*Please note:- This post was written 2 years ago! Before I met Craig, before I started a new career and before I moved house! Sometimes the time line does creep back on me when my life is a little stagnant but life can’t always be moving fast can it? I’m happy to report that I take better care of myself these days, mentally I take days for self care, I am eating better thanks to Mr Chef McGregor and I am now the proud owner of a Bannatynes Gym Membership. Personally, I think big Dunc should give us a free membership but we move.
Thanks for reading!
All my love,