Over sharer and over thinker are words that are often used to describe me. If you have ever read this blog, you’d agreed with that and realise I always wear my heart on my sleeve. Apart from the fact that I was wired this way emotionally from birth, I do it to help others. Opening up emotionally can be both helpful to others and at detriment to myself, this is because vulnerability is seen as a weakness but in fact, it’s a strength. If you think about it, it takes a lot of strength to pour your heart out to strangers and in return it can help them through their issues or problems, always remember you never know what people are going through behind closed doors.
I’ve wanted to create a discussion on this for a while because often the vulnerability can be used against ones self. I make choices all the time, some serious and some everyday, ‘easy’ choices just like everyone else. When I decided to post A Serious Reality Check, I knew there would be questions and a bit of shock from most, especially my family. I made a decision to post it because I am emotionally driven when I write and I just had to get it out there as I knew it would help me and others. However, with putting yourself out there comes the down side. The downside of using your vulnerability against you.
Have you ever been in this situation? I wrote a post about the debt I was in to hold myself accountable and sort of make it seem real if that make sense. It was now out in the world for everyone to see, I guess it was a way to shame me into stop with the credit card and pay it all off. I’m now on my way to paying it off, albeit it will take a while on my current salary but I’m on my way and that’s all that matters.
When the post went live, after the inital discussions with friends and family, I noticed that my vulnerability was used against me. In ways like “You shouldn’t discuss money publicly” or “You can’t be shopping or posting on social media things you’ve bought after you have just moaned about being in debt” – now I do understand the frustration in the latter. However, this is MY debt and although I’ve chosen to share the information with you all, I did it for me. This blog is mine and mine only. Every decision is up to me. Behind the scenes I am working hard to pay this debt off, you don’t see it. My partner and I (my financial adviser lol) have discussed a plan for me to pay monthly and I will have it sorted sooner rather than later. So if I want to buy a handbag and post it, I will. I have my plan and I will stick to my plan. Being on this blog is sort of a catch 22 situation.
Let’s all take the opportunity to praise those who have allowed themselves to be vulnerable. It isn’t easy to some, although it is for me. Remember – there is strength in vulnerability and you’re braver than you will ever know.
I’d love to start a discussion on this – what are you thoughts? Let me know in the comments or head on over to @delusionaldramaqueen on instagram for a chat!
All my love,