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Belfast With The Bestie

We’re back from Belfast and had a great time! Those that know me, know that I hate history. I’m sorry to say it but I have hated the subject ever since high school with Mrs Burke ranting on about Gandhi. It’s just a no from me huns to be honest.

However, I am now a changed woman. Yes, like what the fuck. I actually enjoyed a political history tour with Stevie from Belfast Cab Tours. It was amazing to listen to someone who had lived through the troubles, from someone who went to sleep one night in the Catholic part of town to then be awoken in the morning to a giant wall separating him from his friends in the Protestant community. I’d never heard of this, only from Derry Girls but it was so interesting and heartbreaking at the same time. Although Ireland is now at peace, they still live with the wall between the communities and the gates still close every night at 6pm. It is CRAZY! If you’re interested, give it a google.

Whilst we were in Belfast we visited;

  • Ulster Museum – This is free and contains, art, history and culture
  • Botanic Gardens – This is free to walk around, lovely picture opportunities
  • St. Georges Market – A free market with small shops, the best part is the food. Yes to Parmesan Potatoes!
  • City Bus Tour – Cheap but one every hour which isn’t ideal
  • The Titanic Museum – To be honest this was shite, it SANK what more can ya learn?
  • Crumlin Road Gaol – The prison was interesting but I was expecting much more. I didn’t particularly like the fact it glorifies criminals. They have a video of the names of executions and although I don’t believe in capital punishment, I also don’t believe that we should praise criminals??? Weird.
  • Political Mural Tour – BEST PART OF THE TRIP. Like I said above, I was obsessed.

We ate at fabulous restaurants, a particular fave was Granny Annies! A must visit. It is a restaurant themed to look like a Granny’s house and the furniture is all on the ceiling. You can legit sit in Annies wardrobe to eat! Great quality food too!

Check out our pics below;

For those wanting to visit Belfast, I’d recommend no more than two nights as it is small with not much to do, but it’s worth a visit.

As always, I have laughed my absolute socks off with Mr McGregor – even if it was at the bus stops waiting for the bloody tour bus. You make my life so much brighter.

All the best for now folks,

DDQ XO

Klarna Drama

Today’s post is a little different and after discussing with Craig, I feel the need to share with you all and get different opinions on the matter.

I was aimlessly scrolling through Tik Tok as I frequently do on an evening and came across a very honest woman, talking about her debt in a video. Knowing my own situation, I followed her as I wanted to watch her journey as she was documenting how much she had paid off and spent. I thought maybe she would have tips and tricks. This woman is called Yasmine Camilla. You may of heard of her before as she was an influencer before talking openly about her financial situation. This however, was my first encounter.

To begin with I found her relatable, she was trying hard to conquer her debt and I felt some sort of connection as I know how easy it is to get yourself into these abhorrent situations. She was in a vulnerable state when it came to her finances and so am I. Don’t get me wrong I am much stronger than I was when I had a credit card but I am still building myself up to trusting myself again. Yasmines openness drew me in because you all know that I am too an open book when it comes to my life – I mean duh, I have a blog.

As a fan, I religiously tuned in and checked her Tik Tok for updates until I saw a video about Klarna. Klarna Bank AB, commonly referred to as Klarna, is a Swedish fintech company that provides online financial services such as payments for online storefronts and direct payments along with post-purchase payments.

The video is below should you wish to catch up.

The long and short of the video is that Klarna have offered to pay off Yasmines account. Now, I know that if anyone had offered to pay my debt then I would have taken it so I am not accusing Yasmine here. I am angry with Klarna. When did it become okay to treat others one way and someone else another? Yasmine is an influencer so I understand they have made some sort of business deal with her. They have essentially said that they will pay off her Klarna account if she could talk about it on her Tik Tok, therefore promoting them. This is so wrong. Yasmine will have done this out of desperation and I totally get that, but promoting Klarna and using their name in your Tik Toks who are seen by so many financially vulnerable people is not ok.

I have never had a Klarna account and never will, I’m actually surprised I never had one. I knew they fucked up credit score and that they were a money hungry business who prayed on young women. I say women because they purposely market Klarna at the younger generation, branding it pink to fit with what society thinks women should like.

If you read the comments on Yasmines Tik Tok, you can see that many other girls have contacted Klarna and been told to basically swivvel. They can’t have their debt frozen, they can’t take a break from payments. It isn’t fair. I know that people shouldn’t get themselves into debt in the first place but it has become so easy that most of the nation are struggling with it. Probably you too. I have so much compassion towards this because I have been in this situation. It isn’t nice, it kept me up most nights and it really is not worth the stress.

Thankfully I am in a much better place financially – my money is now mine but for some other vulnerable people, they still have a way to go and the last thing they need is an influencer promoting a ‘Buy Now Pay Later’ scheme.

What are your thoughts on this? I’d love to know. Am I being dramatic? Or am I standing up for what is right?

Let me know,

DDQ XO

Hello Anxiety, My Old Friend

This week has been tough. Don’t get me wrong I have had lots of fun but my brain has been full to the brim. As if it’s a constant carousel that never stops turning. To be honest, it has been a busy week with lots of change and plans so I’m not surprised my brain is having a bit of a meltdown. Normally I am used to being spontaneous and don’t religiously plan much but as we have had Craigs mum staying over, we had planned more things to do and rightly so.

We attended a pub quiz, ate out at Albert Schloss, saw ‘Everybody’s talking about Jamie’, ate out at The Alchemist where Craigs mum met my mum for the first time, had fun at Bingo and that’s about it! Now it doesn’t seem a lot to the average Joe but to me, this was huge. I am constantly overthinking and double checking in my head that others are okay or comfortable whilst forgetting to look after myself. I often feel selfish for voicing the fact that I need to rest even when it looks like ‘I haven’t done anything’. I’m seen as being lazy, which I can be at times but when I am tired due to anxiety or stress, I have to rest my brain not my body. Does anyone else get like this?

I have also really been struggling with temptation but stayed really strong. I feel like an addict at the moment but I guess it’s a process of just learning to be more mindful. As I live in the city centre of Manchester, I am constantly around shops where I can spend money. Luckily, I no longer have a credit card so any money I do spend is mine. However, I don’t need to spend. I just feel like I want too but know that I will regret it for the ten second high you get upon purchasing that new bag or shoes. Constantly suppressing the urges takes up so much mental energy its crazy.

Craig took his mum to a concert on Friday night and I’ve never been more grateful for ME time. I immediately jumped at the opportunity to have a relaxing bath, watched tv, shaved and cleansed (I love anything to do with skin care) and I played around an hour and a half of my game ‘Life is Strange’. I really enjoyed myself and it was just the right amount of time without feeling lonely. I sometimes hate being on my own due to that but this time I was ready to be left. Earlier in the day I had cleaned the house from top to bottom as a way to suppress my brain which was doing overtime. I do that quite often and even yesterday, I used baking as a way to take my mind off of my anxiety.

I’m still in a routine of taking my anti-depressants so hopefully all will be back to normal soon, but after being reminded about regular reviews of medication at the doctors, I have now booked myself in because it is important that I look after myself and listen to my body/brain. That is when it isn’t playing tricks on me. Craigs mum reminded me that just because medication worked at the beginning doesn’t mean it can’t stop working, it’s about trial and error to see what works for the individual. Hopefully more can be done to finally let me off this carousel.

Things will get better and I am positive about that.

Enjoy your week huns, I hope it is successful and brings you happiness.

DDQ XO

She’s Only Gone & Done It!

I cannot tell you how long I have waited to write this post…actually it’s been about three years but not three years of saving. In fact, it’s been quite the journey and left me feeling so ashamed. I’m so happy to say I have FINALLY paid my credit card off!!!

A good few months ago I admitted to the world that I had a problem and chose to let people in on my personal debt story – I did this as a way of holding myself accountable and I thought that it would help, it did to a certain extent. I really struggle with temptation so having a credit card sat on my account with money in was just an accident waiting to happen. I used to pay the minimum payment and then spend it again?! I mean what sense does that make? None. I had been lying to myself and others thinking this was okay and it certainly was not. The longer I waited to pay my credit card, the more interest I paid. Trust me huns, it was not worth it.

Finally, I have paid it all off and although it could have been much worse I am just so glad that it’s done. If I hadn’t of had the support of others then I don’t think it would have been paid this quick. Just to be clear, I have paid this debt myself along with a gift from my Parents. Craig had no financial part of this and for that I am very grateful. Craig has encouraged me so much and taught me a lot about money – he is so responsible and often what I call ‘tight’ but in reality it’s being frugal lol.

I have a plan to save using the 50% 30% 20% method which I will go into detail more on another blog post and keep you updated with how that goes. It is essentially a plan to use 50% of my wage on bills, 30% on ‘fun’ and 20% goes into my savings. I am so excited to build savings and build a future for myself. I have some exciting plans career wise that I hope come to fruition – I’ll be manifesting that!

Thank you to every one for your kind and encouraging words. It has been hard and especially hard emotionally looking back at the mistakes I made. I am so ashamed of getting myself into that situation, it was so silly and I’m happy to say I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! It isn’t worth the mental stress for me and I do not want to lose my nearest and dearest.

Tonight I am celebrating by baking cupcakes and going to the driving range with Craig – it’s something we’ve both been saying we will do as a date night but never got around to doing it.

I’m so excited for what the future brings!

Lots of love huns,

A financially free & stable,

DDQ XO

Opinions: When Do They Cross The Line?

Buckle up huns and grab yourself a good old cuppa char, because this is gonna be a heavily opinionated post and you all know I like to ruffle some feathers every now and then. As you will know, I am a really emotional writer and can only write good content when there is a purpose behind my words. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good birthday post but they’re just short and for fun where as you can tell the ones that mean the most to me by the length and passion behind it.

To be honest, I had no idea what to write for this week’s post as I have so many unfinished drafts, however they’re not up to standard so I figured I’d potentially leave them for another year, LOL. Yes, I have posts written from last year. Anyway, little miss waffle is going on a tangent. Bring your attention back.

Disclaimer: All opinions are my own and I am entitled to them, just as you are.

I don’t know about you and I can only speak for myself but I remember being told by a parent (you can guess which) not to discuss politics, religion or sex with others. Maybe this was because they were brought up that way, maybe because they wanted me to avoid conflict or maybe because it is generally just the rule of thumb that so many people follow and agree with. However, you guessed it, I don’t. Fuck society rules. If I want to discuss something, then I’ll do it. Of course, I’d take into consideration whether people would feel uncomfortable etc. I judge the audience.

I find topics that have passion behind them much more interesting to talk about than if someone broke a nail. For example; Politics. Now, I know this is controversial but why not open the discussion? It honestly helps you filter who is good for you and who is not. That sounds mean, but trust me, later on you will thank yourself and I will tell you why later in the post.

With Politics you know I am a strong labour voter. Strong with a capital S. I love Corbyn and what the party stand for. Starmer? A little bit of a different opinion with him but I vote for the manifesto not the leader as many of you should. Do I hate the Tories? Absolutely. Do I hate all Tories? Not necessarily (maybe) – what I try to do is question why people vote for certain parties and it is their right to vote for who they want. If they respond with that they agree with the manifesto, then that is absolutely ok. If people respond with “My parents vote for them, so I do.” That isn’t a valid answer and a massive cop out. If you’re old enough to vote, you’re old enough to do your own research.

A lot of the time Conservatives are elitist. They’re selfish and don’t have much compassion for those that are less privileged than you and I. Now as I said before, it is everyone’s individual right to who they vote for but what I cannot stand is people who I know and admired voting for a party that gives members of their family less rights…so this is where the title comes into play. When are opinions crossing the line? For example; if your opinion is to bring Section 28* in (Fuck off Maggie) and you vote for the conservatives for this reason then I do not want to know you. Of course, that is an example as thank god Section 28 was reappealed. If your opinion is to vote for a party because they are allowing the tradition of fox hunting to go ahead, then again I don’t want to know you. If your opinion is saying no to immigrants and refugees (Hello, Britain First readers…get off my page) then I do not want to know you. When your ‘opinion’ can affect somebodies life then it no longer becomes an opinion.

See, this is why when I told you above you can filter out those who belong in your life and those who don’t. By asking them their opinions, you can normally grasp what type of person they are, what type of morals they have etc and that is incredibly important to me. Ask Craig. We often have hard hitting discussions and more often than not agree because we have the same morals although he does like to play Devils advocate and get my brain working. I’m grateful for this as sometimes discussions can change opinions. Even me of all people, who is stubborn as hell, can change my opinion if it is brought to my attention during a discussion. Being who I am, I wouldn’t be able to love, or create a family with someone who had little compassion.

Is it right to filter friends out because of their opinions? Sometimes. If their opinion is about a certain style or something that is general then of course not but when it is something you’re passionate about then yes. I know life would be boring if everyone was the same and don’t get me wrong, I love a debate however I also love a stress free life and love vibing with people who are on the same wave length as me. A modest (LOL), decent human being.

I’m not entirely sure if this post has made sense to any of you but it does to me and I’m getting my feelings out whilst they’re flowing.

Would you cut people out for not agreeing with you? Do you like the debates and arguments? Let me know what you think?

Best wishes to you all, apart from those who have zero compassion.

DDQ XO

Birthday Boy ft. Party Playlist

It’s finally here!! Craigy is 26! He is basically 30 but lets just say he’s 26 so he doesn’t have a heart attack. He already said he feels old – haha, wait til we have kids. Then he’ll feel ancient!

Another fabulous birthday has arrived and I couldn’t be happier, by the looks of his face with his presents, he couldn’t either.

This post is for you my darling, to wish you the happiest of birthdays. You are the most supportive, caring and loving boyfriend a girl could ask for. You make me unbelievably proud with your morals, I’m proud of the way you support the LGBTQ+ community with me. You listen to me (as best as you can without zoning out), you are there for me when I’m in a grump and you’re always there to cheer anyone up with your weird impressions and jokes. Everyone who meets you loves you, you have such an infectious personality. We make such an amazing team! I’m beyond grateful and lucky to have you.

So Bestie, enjoy this playlist of songs that reminds me of us including the first song we belted in the car (Sweet Escape) and our favourite Bond song (Nobody Does It Better). You really are the best.

We have a very eclectic music taste haha.

Love ya bubs,

DDQ XO

The Strength of Vulnerability

Over sharer and over thinker are words that are often used to describe me. If you have ever read this blog, you’d agreed with that and realise I always wear my heart on my sleeve. Apart from the fact that I was wired this way emotionally from birth, I do it to help others. Opening up emotionally can be both helpful to others and at detriment to myself, this is because vulnerability is seen as a weakness but in fact, it’s a strength. If you think about it, it takes a lot of strength to pour your heart out to strangers and in return it can help them through their issues or problems, always remember you never know what people are going through behind closed doors.

I’ve wanted to create a discussion on this for a while because often the vulnerability can be used against ones self. I make choices all the time, some serious and some everyday, ‘easy’ choices just like everyone else. When I decided to post A Serious Reality Check, I knew there would be questions and a bit of shock from most, especially my family. I made a decision to post it because I am emotionally driven when I write and I just had to get it out there as I knew it would help me and others. However, with putting yourself out there comes the down side. The downside of using your vulnerability against you.

Have you ever been in this situation? I wrote a post about the debt I was in to hold myself accountable and sort of make it seem real if that make sense. It was now out in the world for everyone to see, I guess it was a way to shame me into stop with the credit card and pay it all off. I’m now on my way to paying it off, albeit it will take a while on my current salary but I’m on my way and that’s all that matters.

When the post went live, after the inital discussions with friends and family, I noticed that my vulnerability was used against me. In ways like “You shouldn’t discuss money publicly” or “You can’t be shopping or posting on social media things you’ve bought after you have just moaned about being in debt” – now I do understand the frustration in the latter. However, this is MY debt and although I’ve chosen to share the information with you all, I did it for me. This blog is mine and mine only. Every decision is up to me. Behind the scenes I am working hard to pay this debt off, you don’t see it. My partner and I (my financial adviser lol) have discussed a plan for me to pay monthly and I will have it sorted sooner rather than later. So if I want to buy a handbag and post it, I will. I have my plan and I will stick to my plan. Being on this blog is sort of a catch 22 situation.

Let’s all take the opportunity to praise those who have allowed themselves to be vulnerable. It isn’t easy to some, although it is for me. Remember – there is strength in vulnerability and you’re braver than you will ever know.

I’d love to start a discussion on this – what are you thoughts? Let me know in the comments or head on over to @delusionaldramaqueen on instagram for a chat!

All my love,

DDQ XO

The non – existent ‘Time line’

I’ve wanted to talk about this topic for a long time, it’s something that since I’ve gotten older (Yes I know I’m not old but I still have feelings ok Susan?!), has become more prominent to me and it becomes a problem when thinking about the future. In fact, as a natural born worrier, I do stress about the future, my goals, what my life will be like and why don’t I have a plan?…these are things I think about daily all because of this invisible timeline I put myself on. Does anyone else do this?

For a long time I’ve put this pressure on myself, forgetting I’m only twenty one and that things will eventually fall into place. We all have different timelines and its the comparison to one another that simply ruins your own thoughts about your own. This is a big thing for me, I will see someone thriving, people buying houses, creating families and travelling and fill myself with worry thinking should I be at that stage now? Do I need to save for a house? Should I think about travelling? But, I realise that the answer is no. I do not need to do any of those things in order to be happy or have a good life, I have to do what I want.

A huge factor of me putting the timeline on myself is of course seeing other people thrive but I’ve also known people who have passed away young. I couldn’t help but think that could be me or a family member, you really don’t know what is around the corner. I feel as though I have to do things straight away, even if it’s silly little things like acting on impulse. “Buy the shoes Abbie…you might not be around to enjoy them next week. Who knows? You don’t know.” Now that was a silly example for sure, and material things shouldn’t matter but the moral is, I am taking every opportunity whilst I can.

The timeline is actually non existent and more a frame of mind, it’s the pressure we all put on ourselves. I always feel rushed to do things, especially dating! I think “Oh god, that girl I know is buying a house with her fella, and they’re gonna have a family” so I literally feel as though I have to find someone quickly forgetting I have so much more time to do that. Those things cannot be rushed, especially if you’re looking for love.

Recently, I’ve seen an image doing the rounds on facebook and it really resignated with me and spurred me on to finish this long awaited post. (I started writing this in August Oops, writers block.)

I loved this message and it explained to me that I don’t have to constantly compare myself to others, I know it will be hard but I know I’m doing whats right for me. For example; I take self care and my mental health really seriously because it’s something I struggle with as you readers will know (Read an open letter to myself). So, when I do take time for myself and simply do ‘nothing’ all day but relax and maybe throw on a face mask I feel as though I am being lazy. I’m not, I’m doing whats best for me and it’s about time I started thinking this way all of the time.

I know that I’m not alone with this bull shit time line, I’ve spoken to people about it and ultimately, it gets people down and affects their self worth. They’re beginning to question have I done enough? We all need to stop the self doubt. Making your own decisions shows a strong person and it will lead you onto a life you’re happy with. Not all decisions will be correct but they sure will be learning curves.

The purpose of this post was to change the way I think and hopefully it can get you guys thinking about your life and whether or not you adhere to this ridiculous, pressured time line like I do. Here are some things to take from it;

  • Live each day as if it’s your last, but also plan a future if that suits you.
  • Don’t be fearful of judgement. Your descisions, your life.
  • Fuck the time line and society pressures. You do you.
  • Don’t compare yourself to others. You are on your own path to happiness.
  • Jealousy is an illness, get well soon hun

Thanks to every single one of you who read my posts. They may seem unimportant to you or you may not relate but luckily there are people out there it will resonate with. It takes just that one person to see it, who needs it the most. I love that and I’m loving this new way to get my feelings out. Stay tuned for more, I promise they won’t all be deep and miserable.

*Please note:- This post was written 2 years ago! Before I met Craig, before I started a new career and before I moved house! Sometimes the time line does creep back on me when my life is a little stagnant but life can’t always be moving fast can it? I’m happy to report that I take better care of myself these days, mentally I take days for self care, I am eating better thanks to Mr Chef McGregor and I am now the proud owner of a Bannatynes Gym Membership. Personally, I think big Dunc should give us a free membership but we move.

Thanks for reading!

All my love,

DDQ

XO

I’m in a YouTube Advert!

Yes! You read that right! I’m in a YouTube Advert!

I am beyond proud to be featured within the Transfriend.ly YouTube campaign as part of their Trans Friendly and Non Binary friendly business scheme. As many of you know, I am a huge advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and equality, and I would say I consider myself a good ally. Yes, I know – I’m so modest. So when this opportunity at work came about I was thrilled to be involved.

My manager at the immigration solicitors I work at, signed Ashwood up to the Transfriend.ly business directory which allows the LGBTQ+ community to choose a friendly business where they will feel comfortable. Businesses on the directory take a pledge to show that they will treat everyone with dignity and respect, and train all staff to do the same. Ashwood Solicitors have good values anyway so it was a great fit for the firm.

Transfriend.ly contacted us and asked for a video, of course my camera loving self had to be involved and after all it is something I am passionate about.

Check out the video below and see if you can spot me!

This means so much to me! What a way to celebrate Pride Month!

So Happy Pride Month my lovelies – why not revisit my post on ‘How to Be a Good Ally’

All my love.

DDQ XO

Our 70’s Road Trip

Alexa, play ‘The Chain’ by Fleetwood Mac.

Yep, that’s right. We’ve been camping in Cornwall whilst bopping to Fleetwood Mac, in our original Sunset Camper Hire VW van. We have definitely been living our 70’s dreams.

We travelled to Newquay, Penzance, Fistral Beach, St Ives, Saint Michaels Mount, Marazion and Lizard. With only a three night stay we decided to stay in Trencreek Holiday Park for the first and third night and the second night at Henry’s Campsite in Lizard. Henry’s was so cool with a hippy vibe and even a live jazz band playing every night.

Now I know I’m not the type of girl to go camping and I’m still not sure I am but I was absolutely buzzing when Craig showed me the camper. I felt like buying flares and curling my hair like Farrah as soon as the trip was booked.

Although, the gas guzzler of a van was expensive, I’d recommend it to anyone. It was a once in a life time experience and one I’ll never forget. Adventures with Craig are my favourite – the amount of laughs we had was unreal.

Thanks to Simon at Sunset Camper Hire for renting us this beauty.

A vlog is on the way – I just need to edit it which is proving rather difficult with Windows as I’m used to a Mac. Yes I know, what a basic bitch.

Have this gallery for now and I’ll update you all with the vlog when it is on YouTube.

Thanks for another great adventure Craig. In the words of Carly Simon, Baby you’re the beeeeessssssttttt.

DDQ XO